Finding Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now)

Because my Fairy Godmother is not reliable and in order to make sure I don't make the same mistake again, I developed a list of qualities I'm looking for in a man. Now, you may say, "get real" after reading this list. To quote a married friend of mine...."You'll never find a man with all these characteristics and if I know of one, I won't be fixing you up with him; I'll be leaving my husband for him." But really, that is the point. I'm pretty happy with my life. I have a loving, close family, I own a successful business, I have LOTs of cool friends, interests, etc. I don't want to give up closet space, change my life or expose my young son to another person if that person is not worthy. Now, I don't want you to think I'm too picky about who I date. I'm willing to date someone for "entertainment purposes" who does not have all these qualities. Afterall, I am human and want to have some fun. But I don't want to share my life and my son's life with someone who is not potentially "Mr. Right."

LIST OF “DEAL-BREAKERS”
□ Good self esteem/generally happy
□ Trustworthy – Does what they say they are going to do
□ Trusting – secure enough in himself to give me space
□ Kind and compassionate to others, especially my son & me
□ Hardworking – at home and at work
□ Accepts others for who they are (NOT racists, anti-gay, anti-semitic, sexist, anti-religious/God)
□ Outgoing and friendly
□ Patient with others, especially kids
□ Aware of his own feelings, the feelings of others
□ Passionate, giving lover who enjoys having sex with me
□ Has healthy habits (physically fit, eats right, doesn’t abuse food, drugs, alcohol, is a non-smoker)
□ Fiscally responsible (but not cheap)
□ Financially secure
□ Generous and charitable
□ Good sense of humor
□ Intelligent
□ Believes in a higher power (is not a religious conservative or zealot)
□ Values and supports my career/profession/passion/mission and has his own passion/profession
□ Accepts and manages change well – is flexible
□ Gets along well with my family & his family – I like his family

Now, I wrote earlier about dating for "entertainment purposes." These extra credit items are often those that let me overlook lack of a few qualities in the above list in order to find someone to hook up with on the two days a week my son is at his dad's house.

EXTRA CREDIT POINTS
The following qualities do NOT replace the Deal-Breaker Items but simply receive bonus points for these items:

□ Good dancer
□ Enjoys nature and outdoors
□ Enjoys music and art
□ Cooks delicious food
□ Likes to entertain friends and family
□ Neat and tidy/organized
□ Punctual
□ About the same age as me or younger
□ Athletic, enjoys active sports rather than watching them on TV
□ Likes to talk about world events and politics
□ Adept at giving massages
□ Has interesting friends

The next step was to have a focus group of married and single smart women, to develop a list of screening questions. These screening questions will be used to quickly find out about the man's qualities in order to determine whether the man is on the Mr. Right track or the For Entertainment Purposes only dating track.

Question of the Day: Do you have any suggestions for screening questions or good stories about what Mr. Wrong has revealed to you on a date?